


Won't be Long 'till I Belong

by tvshowobsessed



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No one dies, Canon Divergence, F/F, One Shot, post season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4862579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvshowobsessed/pseuds/tvshowobsessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Without the thought of world-end on your horizon you had a surprisingly large amount of free time now, which would be great if you didn't spend 90% of it thinking about Carmilla, or trying to get over Carmilla, or doing everything possible to fill the Carmilla sized hole in your heart.</p><p>or</p><p>A year after the break up Laura is lonely and Carmilla finally comes home</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't be Long 'till I Belong

**Author's Note:**

> I basically don't want anyone to die and I needed some fluff in my life because this season is angst to the max.  
> So this happened! Enjoy!!!

It's not perfect. It never was with her, not when she barged into your dorm room that day, not when you thought she was kidnapping girls, not when she sacrificed herself and you thought she was dead, and certainly not when she kissed you after ending things. But perfection with her never seemed to matter because she was Carmilla and you were happy just to have her. Except that you didn’t have her anymore. And you missed her.

 

But an entire year had passed and things had calmed down. The school wasn't in ruins, there was no giant evil coming to ruin your lives anymore, no mothers or sisters or Lord Vordiemort’s to defeat. It turns out that Mattie drinking Lophii’s blood made her very powerful, and very useful, and she managed to wipe out all of the zetas and summers that Danny and Kirsh couldn’t turn to your cause. After the violence was over you and Mattie and Danny had come to an arrangement that you were all happy with. Mattie didn’t try to sell off the student body’s bodies, and she finished any contracts with Corvae corps before leaving to go explore Europe. Danny had taken over to board of governors, and somehow found new faculty to replace the ones that were dead, or the ones that Vordie had brought in.

 

Classes went back to normal, you went home for summer break and carefully lied about most of the school year to your dad. He was always very curious about your life, and sadly you’d mentioned Carmilla to him more than once and he was full of questions.

Despite your original conversation, Carmilla had made no moves towards you after the final battle. There was no talking, no goodbye, no trying to work things out. She and her sister had disappeared off to who knows where right after the battle and you hadn't really heard from her except the odd post card or tweet. She never wrote much in the cards, so you think she just didn’t want you to worry (you still worry). You'd sometimes tweet at her saying you got the postcards, but she never responded. You wish it didn't still sting. The postcards are all in a folder in your desk, too painful to look at but too important to throw away.

 

Without the thought of world-end on your horizon you had a surprisingly large amount of free time now, which would be great if you didn't spend 90% of it thinking about Carmilla, or trying to get over Carmilla, or doing everything possible to fill the Carmilla sized hole in your heart.

You have been trying, you really have, but whenever you get anywhere near close to anything substantial you feel wrong and gross and dirty and end things as fast as you can. You had one promising relationship, but then she said "I love you" and everything had come crashing down around you because you never got to say it back to the person that mattered. You had loved her and she never got to know. And it was just so unfair that you'd started sobbing and broken up with the poor girl on the spot. After that, you had a couple of one-night stands but they just left you feeling more empty and numb.

 

A year later and the wind still gets knocked from your lungs when you breathe in and something smells like her. A year later and you can still feel the ghost of her arms around you, as you lay un-sleeping at night. A year later and she haunts your dreams. A year later and you miss her with all you heart.

You know a year can change a person (because you know you’ve changed so much for the better) so you can’t say you’re still in love. You’re not. But you also know you want the chance to be.

You groan and roll over because it's barely 8am on a weekend and you're wide-awake, head full of unwanted thoughts. You unlock your phone and click the familiar little bird icon and type in her username. And yeah maybe checking her Twitter feed shouldn't be the first thing you do in the morning, but habits die hard and you just do it to make sure she's ok (or at least that's what you tell yourself). You suck in a breath when you see her tweet though, and sit up in your bed to make sure you read it correctly.

 

@heycarmilla

I'm back cupcake. Look under your door.

 

You rub the sleep from your eyes and push the covers off of your legs as you put your feet into cold slippers and stand up, stretching your arms over your head and feeling your spine crack. You move over to the door and feel around on the floor for the hard paper you think might be there. Feeling what you're looking for you pick it up and see a postcard from Styria. It's just a photograph of some mountains and snow, but on the back is Carmilla’s familiar calligraphic handwriting, your address, and no stamp. Your heart races knowing that she dropped this off herself, but you force your eyes back across the page to read her message.

 

Hey Creampuff,

I'm back today. It's been a long trip so I wouldn't be opposed to sitting and reading while you watch one of your horrendous movies. I'll come back around 4pm.

-Carmilla

Ps. If you ask me about my trip I’ll leave.

 

Your heart picks up speed again and you take a deep breath, convincing yourself that this is just her trying to be your friend. You could do this; you could be friends with her. Lot’s of people become friends with their ex’s that they still think about almost every day. Totally.

You groan and fall face first into your bed giving up on doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

 

~~~~

 

By the time 4PM rolls around you’re so anxious you think you might be having a heart attack. Trying to remain casual you’re sitting on your bed, on Tumblr, but you’re glancing at the time every five seconds and you don’t think you’ve even reblogged anything in the last half hour. You know you don’t have any real reason to be worried, you’re just going to watch something on Netflix while she reads one of her philosophy books. She might not even talk to you, so there’s nothing to be worried about, except what if she actually doesn’t want to talk to you? Or what if she’s coming to yell at you about things that happened last year? Or maybe -

 

You’re suddenly snapped out of your thought train by your door opening wide.

 

“Hey,” Carmilla says, looking at the floor. You have to swallow because she’s real and in your room and before you know it you’re off your bed and your arms are wrapped around her in a tight hug. She still smells exactly the same, and (even though it takes her a second of stiffness) once her arms are wrapped around you too it feels like home.

“Hey,” you finally reply.

“Looks like someone missed me,” she mumbles into your hair. Suddenly self-conscious you pull back and roll your eyes.

“Not at all. But I think it’s right to hug your friends when you haven’t seen them in a year!”

“Mmm, I think you missed me,” she laughs. You pout in response and she wanders over to your bed. A single room allows for a queen and you really shouldn’t be surprised when she immediately gets comfortable right in the middle of it. You stand in place and stare at her with mock horror. Really you’re just enjoying the view because her year away has obviously done her good. The leather pants are back, plus that black translucent shirt, and she just looks so much happier. The sadness that followed her around when you lived with her (even when you were dating) seems to have eased off and she hasn’t actually stopped smiling yet, which makes your heart soar. At least one of you enjoyed your year apart, which makes your heartache worth it. Sighing, you approach the bed and wait for her to move her legs. When she doesn’t you take a deep breath and pick them up yourself before settling down and laying her legs over your own. You reach over to your laptop and place it over her legs, and knowing she’s watching you, you stick out your tongue in her direction.

“Real mature, cupcake.” She rolls her eyes at you but makes no move away from your position. “So what horrible show or movie are you subjecting me to today?” You glare at her pointedly.

“This was your idea, Carm. But since you asked so nicely, we’re watching season one of Agent Carter”

“Again?” She’s pouting, but you can hear the teasing smile in her voice.

“You let me choose.”

“Ugh fine,” she mumbles, pulling out a thin paperback and settling further down into your bed. You press play on episode one, and even though the book is covering her face and you refuse to look at her, you can feel her eyes on you. It’s like no time has passed between you and you can’t help but smile.  

 

~~~

 

Four episodes later and Carmilla has fully sat up next to you on the bed for a better watching angle. Her book lays forgotten on the bed beside her and a tiny spark of hope lights in your chest.

 

~~~

 

Six episodes later and you have to pause because Carmilla is having a conversation with you about Dottie, and the residence, and basically everything related to the 40’s. You’re smiling so much because she’s talking about her own life and her experiences and she even stayed in an apartment very similar to the one in the show. She’s moved herself so that she’s completely facing you on the bed, and your hands are dangerously close to touching on top of your duvet.

Carmilla opening up about her life is something you’ll never be used to, but every time she does you feel so lucky and privileged and like maybe things might work out.

She’s in the middle of one such story, something about her having an affair with the house owner’s daughter and being caught and kicked out. And you want to be jealous but you’re not because it was so long ago and she’s looking at you with such adoration it’s hard to remember that she isn’t yours anymore. But then she stops mid sentence and she smiles like you’re the sun and your breath catches in your throat and you have to remind yourself that nothing is going to happen (nothing is going to happen). You don’t know how long she’s been staring at you with that smile on her face, but she seems closer now and you’re holding your breath because you don’t want this moment to end.

“Laura.” She says your name quietly and it fills your heart and your lungs and everything is burning because she hasn’t looked away yet.

“Carm?” Your own voice is barely a whisper but you know she can hear you, vampire hearing and all.

“I’d like to kiss you now. If that’s ok.” She glances at your lips and you blink at her in confusion and open and close your mouth because you’re sure now that you must have misheard her.

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?” She says as she covers your hand with her own. You don’t need to be told again and you move your other hand to cup her cheek and press your lips to hers, gently but hungrily, and try to communicate over a year’s worth of feelings into the action. Much like your first kiss, you break apart after a moment to smile at one another before moving in for a second, third and fourth kiss.

“You’re right I missed you,” you say against her lips as you pull away, keeping your hand on her cheek.

“I thought so.” She reaches up to brush the fallen hair away from your face, kissing your temple gently.

“So, does this… mean…” You trail off and look at your joined hands, sitting between you on the bed.

“Laura Hollis, if you’re willing, I’d like to give us another try,” she smiles at you and the world shifts back into place.

“Yes. A hundred times yes.” You giggle before leaning forward to capture her in another kiss. Her lips are familiar and new and soft and rough and nothing is perfect, just as it should be.

 

 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Title from Unlucky Skin - Shakey Graves 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3  
> You can find me at hollsteinstrash.tumblr.com if you want  
> and as always my beta is hawkrye.tumblr.com and she's great


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